Being a ‘mom’ is not always easy!

There are many different types of moms and different stages of mothering. Some are easy and fun though may be tiring. Others may cause sleepless nights and worry. Then there is the stage of being a mother to adult children. Even this time offers different emotions, joys, rewards and challenges. Today I’m focusing on the challenges and some of the lessons I’ve had to learn along the way. I’ve given birth to three very strong willed daughters. I have four equally strong willed adult stepchildren. I prefer to think of them all as my children because even if you have not given birth to them, you invest in them, love them and want what is best for them.  That is what being a mom is all about!

As the ‘mom’ of adult children, I’ve had to learn they’re all individual adults with ideas, goals, priorities and plans of their own. It can be highly rewarding to watch them strive for something and find their success. On those days, I get to celebrate with them.

On days when they contact me to just chat or call for my opinion or advise, I get to share in this unique adult to adult bonding and there is little else to compare with the joy this offers.

Then there are the days when I recognized I can only watch as one or another of them struggles with aspects of life, sometimes over and over again. It hurts my heart to watch these struggles. I’ve already learned my life experiences are not viewed with any value; thus any words of advice I might offer fall on deaf ears. I’m left with few options. I’m trying to learn, sharing my opinion or advice at times like this only leaves me frustrated. We’ve each matured to the point where these discussions are not heated, but I know I’ve hit a wall and it would be better if I didn’t try. My heart breaks as I watch the same life lesson being presented over and over again with the same outcome. Didn’t some one once say, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results?” As a mom, hardening my heart and turning away is not an option for me. Nor is focusing on one relationship so much as to allow it to rob me of the joy in other relationships.

Being a mom is not always easy! There are always plenty of reasons to be on my knees. I know sometimes praying is all I can do!