Category Archives: Things to ponder….

People, events or things that cause one to stop and think.

Think About It…

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I won’t be here forever.

None of us will.

When you reflect on that fact, what do you think about?

I know I’ll be in a better place, so I’m not worried about me.

However, I spend a fair amount of time thinking about what that will mean for others. Probably since I was in my 40’s I’ve tried to make it my goal to ‘make memories’ with others. Besides ‘stuff’, which may or may not be of value to anyone else, I feel memories are the only thing I can leave behind which will make a potential difference in one’s life.

I think about those I’ve lost in my life. The ones I think fondly of were those with whom I shared good memories. Others, well, I was able to perform the necessary functions required at the time, but their loss was not much of a loss to me.

There will always be ‘givers’ and ‘takers’ in life, but the creation of memories only happens when each party is contributing, shares in the other’s joys and sometimes sorrows; each party wants happiness for the other. These memories may not always be about happy times. With one you truly love and are invested in, there may be times when one of you is struggling with something. In a deep relationship, even during those times you make memories with the other person by being loving, supportive and caring for them.

I want my life to be about making memories! Memories that will leave people thinking fondly of me, either when we part for a time or when eternity arrives for one of us.

I struggle with how to pass this understanding on to my children. I want my time spent, whether talking with or being together, to be about building understanding for each other and making memories. I enjoy thinking of the successes they have shared with me. I pray for the concerns they have. I love it when we are planning a future get-together or event and each of us is involved in the process.

Instead, I sometimes find conversations that feel like obligations, words with no real connection. It hurts and leaves me feeling empty. Are those the memories they will have of me? If so, I fear I have failed at what is most important to me.

We’ll Meet Again Up Yonder

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Fran and Rick @ Ashcroft

This week one of my special friends went home to be with the Lord.

I met Fran Cohler about 10½ years ago at my future husband’s home. She came into the room with laughter and an open heart. A friendship was born that day which has brought me much joy and happiness over the years. She and her husband, Rick are some of our closest friends. They were people we could share good times with, create memories with, pray about family members and talk about the deeper matters of life, one’s spiritual life.

As a woman, Fran shared God’s love openly. Her fingers made beautiful music as her hands danced across the keys and she shared this love of music with many. She had a tender heart and brought encouragement, support and laughter where she went. She and my husband shared this zany Irish humor, which I enjoyed listening to and being part of.

She left her touch on my life, as I’m sure she has on many others throughout her life. She will be honored and missed by many; but her memory will linger in the hearts of those lives she touched.

 

Fran and Rick @ Pine Creek CookhouseFran and Rick in Green Bay

Happy New Year!

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Just a short greeting this evening–to all my family, friends and the new friends I’ve gained over the last couple of years. Thanks for sharing and making memories with me in 2014. It is my hope each of you will reflect on the events of 2014 and as you ponder the good memories, to also think about the lessons learned. Then while looking to 2015, think about how those lessons will be applied to the goals and directions you plan to take.

Blessings to each of you!

Motorcycles and Memories…

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Recently we visited the Rocky Mountain Motorcycle Museum in Colorado Springs, Colorado. What an eclectic collection of old motorcycles we found. Many of them were old Harley’s. There were old photographs and articles of motorcycle events.

I don’t have many positive memories of my father, so I was surprised at all the memories of him, this place evoked within me. I had the last ride on his Harley before he sold it when I was 3 or 4. I had forgotten about all the motorcycle hill climb events he took me to as a child. I seem to recall those events were either early in the spring or late in the fall. I remember being chilled at most of these events, and wondering why anyone would want to ride in such mud. I was a girl after all. But I also remember how excited my dad was at these events. When I think about that now, I realize he was sharing one of his passions with me. It was nice to have a memory about him, which invoked smiles and happy emotions.

FORGIVENESS…

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Sequel to ‘Unresolved!!!’ blog post.

Optimal health from an unhealthy relationship can only be achieved through forgiveness and God’s grace. I’m grateful for God grace and forgiveness towards me and can only offer forgiveness to those who offend and hurt me. Some days my ability to forgive is only possible by allowing God to forgive through me! It is only by accepting personal forgiveness and offering forgiveness to the other that I can find peace. For that I’m grateful!

Over the years I’ve learned that offering forgiveness means I won’t hold the offender hostage to the acts of their past. It also means I don’t harbor bad feelings or thoughts about them. It does not mean I have to subject myself to their bad behavior or abuses in the future. The last sentence may be really important for some of you to realize, so let me say it again.

It does not mean I have to subject myself to their bad behavior or abuses in the future.

When I was younger, I thought forgiving someone meant letting go of the past and just getting back on with life, acting like nothing happened. This might work if the offending party is repentant of their behavior and really wants to change. If not, I found I was only setting myself up to be hurt or abused again. This is not what God wants for any of us!

If any of you are struggling with an unresolved relationship, I encourage you to FORGIVE – both yourself and the other party; accept the peace and grace God offers through forgiveness; move on in life, trusting His guidance. For each relationship crisis, the moving on may look different. Follow His lead.

Unresolved!!!

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Like a large splinter deep beneath the skin is an unresolved relationship.

The healing does not take place until the sliver is removed. Then depending upon how deep it was and how invasive the removal determine how long the healing takes.

Leaving the splinter fester is not much of an option for optimal health. What about an unresolved relationship?

Mermaid Girl…..

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I thought I gave birth to a baby girl. We were to live as a family, on the land. I thought she was mine. I soon learned this was not true. This child displayed a rebellious and defiant spirit as out of control as the ocean in a huge storm, against anything that had the scent of tradition, authority or rules. Occasionally, I would have fleeting glimpses of the daughter I thought was mine. And then they would be gone! Hers became a dance of seeing how far she could stray from the line. The collateral damage and destruction of those she either hurt or destroyed in her dance of defiance is huge. Every time I look, the circle becomes larger. It includes people both close to her and those just touched by the fringes of her life, and people whom she once charmed and has since grew tired of. Then awhile back we vacationed with her at the beach. Those few short days were a gift. Time spent together was pleasant and devoid of the stress I associated with her. I’ve come to realize there is something about the ocean that seems to calm the rage she has against life and civilization. She is back inland again, and the glimpses I saw of her at the ocean have vanished again. Is the ocean her true home and not this land the rest of us live on? Perhaps she was not a baby girl, but a baby mermaid instead.

These thoughts have been triggered by both a conversation with my local pastor when he asked me to think of a time when she was innocent before all the problems began (which brought to mind a photo of her sitting on the beach when she was about 3 or so with a white suit with red and blue polka dots) and a conversation with my husband pointing out the vacation trip we took with this child was really a gift. We spent almost a full week together and it was no stress, no drama, no difficult times, just a very pleasant time together. I’m glad I was allowed to frame this vacation into the thought of a ‘normal gift’ with this child because my life history with her does not allow me many of those memories. Somehow those two images merged into the Mermaid Girl – I think that may be her!

 

 

Good or Bad – The Choice is Yours; the Capacity has been a Gift….

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I’ve been reading CS Lewis’ book, Mere Christianity. The following passage from the book has stuck with me.

“Why did God make a creature of such rotten stuff that it went wrong? The better stuff a creature is made of – the cleverer and stronger and freer it is – the better it will be if it goes right, but also the worse it will be if it goes wrong.”

I think of some people I know who have lives that are pretty messed up. In fact, they appear to be in a total destruction mode. It bothers me. Then when I read this and spent some time pondering the statement, it made me realize those people have a capacity to be good to the same extent they have chosen badly. It is all about life choices and God’s grace. I was left with the knowledge (or reminder); all I can do for them is to pray for them. It is not mine to change them. Oh, but the day God decides to change them, they will have quite a story to tell! May He give me the grace to patiently remain in prayer!

Grateful for HIS Protection — Again….

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Strange week, it has been! There was excitement and anticipation in the beginning of the week. I enjoyed a Monday at home catching up on things and working on a writing project. Tuesday morning was breakfast with a special lady friend. I left our meeting upbeat and joyous! Hubby and I were heading out of town, but needed to mail a card first. I jumped out of the car and lightheartedly headed toward the mailbox. It all happened so fast – all I remember is that everything went wrong. Either my sandal slipped off my foot, or I stumbled on the curb. Either way I found myself running to catch my balance, to no avail. I made an immediate and abrupt contact with the cement sidewalk, landing on my hand and my head. After being checked out by the doc and sent home with some pain meds, I spent the next couple of days feeling rather foolish for not being more careful; frustrated for being injured and not able to function as I normally would; and just plain feeling sorry for myself to having to endure the discomfort and inconvenience of this all. Then Thursday morning when I awoke, I realized I had much to be grateful for. God’s angels had again been looking out for me. Tuesday’s accident was unfortunate, but could have been worse in so many different ways. There were people there immediately to check on me and make sure I was ok. One woman even had the foresight to ensure I knew my hubby and we were together before being comfortable leaving me in his care. I was able to get an appointment at the clinic where I go and able to determine, nothing was broken. I may have bumped my head hard enough to have a monster black eye, but I did not scrape any of the skin on my face. In fact, I only have two small scrapes on my hand and one on my foot. My hand is turning the same colors of my face and I’ve become a friend of ice packs this week. This has turned into a week of rest and realization again of how much our heavenly father looks out for us; cares for us and protects us!

Attitude of Gratitude!

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This weekend, my daughter and I talked about the different ways people look at life. We both agreed, those who have an attitude of gratitude are people who are much more pleasant to be around and elude a much more uplifting persona.

For me, I know my life didn’t start out as such. I tended to compare my life to others and felt I had to strive for, whatever…. The list was long!

I cannot point to a time when this changed, but found it to be a gradual transition, which left me in a place where I cannot stop finding things to be grateful for. It is easier to laugh and I don’t take myself so seriously; not taking myself so seriously has allowed me to enjoy life more!

I’ve also found, on those days when I awake and it feels like there is a cloud hanging over me, once I find something to be grateful for the cloud starts to abate. The more gratitude, the less room there is for the cloud.

What are you grateful for today?