Tag Archives: choices

It is not real life…

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Another World

June 10, 2025

It is not real life…

Awaking early, I couldn’t go back to sleep. An unease hung in the air, which I couldn’t explain. The steady drip, drip, drip of tension has been raining down on us for months. Some go about their days, seemingly oblivious to the erosion of values supposedly held dear by Americans. Others witness this degradation occurring, but cannot process it nor know how to act. Public conversation rarely occurs. People are cautious about their speech and who they are open with. I suspect other homes are as abuzz as ours when the doors are closed, though I do not know what their conversations are. 

I feel the need to prepare myself for the days ahead. Yet I do not know what that means, or how to prepare. I expect things to get worse. Much worse.

My hubby asked me if I was anxious. I had no solid answers for his question. Instead, I told him of my feelings. You know the feeling you get when you are on a steep roller-coaster. The whole time the car is slowly edging to the top, you feel the anticipation or dread building within your whole being. Then, many times, the car stops at the top, leaving you suspended in space hanging above the steep drop. In an instant, you are hurtling down the steep drop at record speeds. You scream. Everyone does. Then the ride levels out and gradually slows to a stop. You get out, laughing, barely able to catch your breath or your balance, and finally recognize that you’ll be okay. Right now, I identify with the stage where the car is slowly edging to the top, to pause, suspended in space before dropping. Just not sure how safe the fall will be, not sure what life will look at the bottom, or if I’ll even stand.

It seems to me that the warning signs have been presented to us for months. With each passing event, the acts become more brazen. I listen to people bemoaning how we may be losing our democracy. This morning, I awoke to news that the National Guard and the Marines are in the streets of Los Angeles. Really? Losing our democracy? It is safer to say that the ship has already sailed. It is gone. People think we can return to something. How? Nothing goes backwards.

 I have no vision of what is forthcoming, or knowledge of what it will be, or how it will materialize. Yet I believe once the burning is complete, something will arise from the ashes. 

I consider we are in for some hard times. Again, I’m uncertain what that means, what it looks like, or how it will affect me and my family. My goal is to continue to focus on individuals, to bring peace and love to those around me. My hubby and I will continue to encourage and support one another. Both of us feel the tension of these days and recognize how important it is to be gentle with one another, to keep seeking things we enjoy, things that bring us peace and contentment.

This won’t happen, but how I would like to awake from this nightmare and declare, “This is not real life,” then sigh and enjoy a sun-filled day.

Up in Flames

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Ahh,
can you hear it?

2024 is groaning
under the weight
of all the happenings
of the year.

Too many happenings to list here.

Are you groaning as well?

Here’s the cure…

Slip into your snuggly warm jammies,
or comfortable sweats,
grab a warm cup of your favorite steamy brew,
take your preferred throw or blanket
and settle in-front of the fire.

A big roaring fire.

Listen to the crackles
as little sparks pop from the blaze.
Watch the flames of the fire rise,
rise to the sky
or up the firebox.

Give your thoughts
of the year
to those flames.

Let the flames
take the weight of 2024
with them.

Rising into the heights of the heavens,
then dissipating in the air.

Allow the smoke to fill your nostrils
like incense, purifying your soul.

Watch the flames
licking the logs
slowly turning the surfaces into glowing,
red searing heat sources.
Soak in this heat.
Sit quietly
and let the weight of 2024
escape from your body.

Soak in
enough of the heat
that you need
to toss the blanket aside.

Quiet your mind.
Think about the flames
making the logs smaller.
Let your stressful thoughts
shrink as well.
Breathe deeply.
A new morning is coming.
2025 will arrive like a new babe.
Welcome it into your life–
Uncorrupted,
Renewed,
Original.

From the ashes of 2024,
let something new
be created in you
this coming year.

Embrace the possibility
of new beginnings.
Wrap them around yourself
like the blanket you 
previously tossed.

Hold your head high 
and enter the new year.

Thoughts

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I recently started a new project, as I felt my mindset had slipped out of some traditional thought patterns. I pulled a gratitude journal from the bookshelf as I decided I needed to get back into the habit of practicing gratitude. 

Each writing offers a two-page spread, with the first page having some thoughts to ponder, some scripture reminders, and the subsequent page is for writing and a brief prayer for ending the session. 

My writing will remain private, but I wanted to share the thoughts to ponder from one day. Day five, to be more precise. 

Some of the truths I’ve known for years, yet somehow, allowed these truths to escape from personal practices. Sometimes we all need reminders.

Yet I was fascinated by the idea that one’s mind actually expands based upon our focus. I liked the examples they used and could see experiences from my past to support the statement. 

The world we currently live in bombards us with information designed to grab our minds and cause us to be fearful or distrusting of others. Allowing such thoughts to occupy my mind creates the possibility for a stream of emotions and actions which I don’t want to be used to describe me. I can accomplish an alternative outcome with how I choose to think. When I ponder all I have to be grateful for, or the beauty surrounding me, I will become more optimistic and content. The prospect of becoming more optimistic and content is exciting; which should cause increased happiness, increased health and more fun for those I interact with. 

So, I have started the “100 Days of Grace & Gratitude.”

What thoughts will you choose?

Taking Chances

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Taking chances
Isn’t that what life is about?
Another journey around the sun.
Out with the old, In with the new
What does it mean to you?

The sun is shining, lighting up the land around me
Blue sky intensifying the colors of the day
A light breeze blows beckoning me outdoors
Just as the new year beckons me to throw aside caution
And enter with wild abandon into the unknown future

The future – 
…another year older
…deeper understanding 
…new challenges and adventures await
…refining or honing skills
…giving up unrealistic expectations
…savoring the gift of another day
…tenderly holding precious memories
…valuing relationships
…acknowledging more, the power of God’s love 
…and learning how to walk more in this love

It is all a chance.
A chance I take willingly.

Out with the old, In with the new
What does it mean to you?

Why Do I Write?

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I write for freedom – freedom from expectations; to gain freedom or clarification about events that have happened.  I write when I’m happy or overjoyed about some happening or circumstance.  I write when I’m lonely and find comfort in visiting another place or time.  Sometimes I write because the words are overflowing in my mind and I need to sort them out.  Other times I write because something needs to be said to another that is too important to just say and then have it vanish into thin air. I write because words are important to me!

The following piece is something from 2009. Enjoy! And please share your reactions.

Closet Writer Breaks Out

The closet writer is on the loose. She could be anywhere! You may not recognize her for what she is. She appears as any woman you might pass on the street. She enjoys life and lives it to the fullest. She has a family, a day job and could be participating in any life experience. Yet, she’s the one who writes long descriptive letters to friends and family members. Sometimes it’s easier to put her thoughts down in words than to speak them.

Her secret dream is to be a writer. She won’t tell you she’s a writer even though she spends many hours of her day writing. She harbors some fear associated with sharing this, thinking others may judge her. Yet, you will find her busy at night scribbling in her journals, or sneaking away for a few minutes here and there with pen in hand or laptop in tow. The words quickly fill the page and the journals are tucked away.

The lock has broken. Her time has arrived. She has come out of the closet. Her words are no longer a secret – nor are they hers alone anymore. Be aware! She’s out there. She’s watching and she’s writing. She may innocently cross your path and her words may cause you to pause and rethink your position on something, or make you remember some forgotten memory. She may create the opportunity for you think beyond what you formerly held as truth. Or the story she wrote may sound like it’s yours. She could be anywhere. You have been warned. Should you have the opportunity to ask her why she writes, she would tell you, “I write because it sets me free. I have words overflowing in my mind and I need to sort them out. Other times I write because I have something to say to another that is too important to just say the words and have them vanish into thin air. I write because words are important to me.”

2023 New Start

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December is…

…only a memory

remembrances of days past
some sweet, some mundane
holiday songs, gone from the public square
trees once adorned with lights and baubles
now tossed by the curb
crumpled wrapping paper fills the garbage bins

December marks the end of the calendar year
the new year has arrived
like a unblemished babe awaiting impact
of what the world will lay on the babe
or the impact the babe has on others

so for us, the new year comes
it can be a clean slate
a time for new beginnings
or a holding place for the past’s baggage

baggage from the past
you can chose to toss
gone is the looking backwards
and lingering regrets


with a clean slate
and heartful of gratitude
i have a new start

Can You Relate?

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The words below jumped off the page as I read them.

Do you get social media fatigue at the end of the year?

I wanted to scream YES. It’s the Holiday season and the thought of Christmas conjures up cheerful and pleasant feelings which radiate throughout my being. Most are personal. Those feelings don’t translate well to social media.

Are you laughing, or agreeing?

There’s this tug, which pulls me in conflicting directions.

  • I want to be creative
  • Many tasks are tied to traditions I continue to maintain
  • There is always something to be done
  • Thoughts of snuggling on the couch to enjoy the moment are tantalizing

I released a book in late October. I should market said book. There is another I should format for publication.

Somehow, all these aspects of life swirl together, creating my here and now.

The Christmas season of 2022.

To you, those who follow my blog—may you find moments to enjoy whatever makes this season special to you.

Timber…

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The end has arrived. It was time to purge the agave before it became rigid and too tough to cut. The blooms hosted bees, honey birds and some butterflies. 

Timber…

When the stalk fell, a mild sweet fragrance filled the air.

Pieces cut to fit the green waste mounded on the ground. 

Then each was stabbed with a pitch fork and dropped in the bin. 

Smaller pieces were scooped in. 

Few pieces wait for next week’s trash collection day.

July 27 — Close up

Check out the close-up bloom. Each of those tiny tennacles were feeding zones for all the flying critters that hovered around the blooms once they opened. After sitting in the sun for several days, there was no fragrance, and no visiting creatures. This piece will join its kin in the bin next week.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this marvel of nature with me. 

We’ve yet to determine what will be planted in the agave’s former location. But the next selection will take into consideration the little bridge and mature size of the plant.

Habit or not…

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Away from home…

Habits creep in
Like stalkers at night
We awake and find them amongst us

So goes the way of the news

Read for interest to be informed
Look for more complete details
Shock value captivates attention
Research
Then repeat

And repeat
Peace disrupted
Habit revealed

I long to return to consuming news 
On a “need to know” basis

Question
How to be informed yet not addicted?

(I’d love to hear your thoughts and suggestions on this topic)

Life Changes…

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I’ve been part of a “Writing Through the Pandemic” group. It’s been an interesting process which sometimes surprises me at what surfaces. You can find some these writing on my blog under the following menu options: “Writing Categories” and then select “Pandemic”. Feel free to leave your comments or write your own thoughts.

Together, we’ll get through this!

New Buds Growing

Everything is a process

Processes have invisible strands that tie the pieces together

For me the process started in late spring of 2019

Spending 10 weeks in the southwest of Ireland and England left me shaken

The recognition of my own materialism hit hard

The crazy pace of my life was revealed as just that—crazy

I tried to share those revelations upon returning home

My friends looked at me with that dazed look you give one when you think they’ve lost it

I still made little sense of this

I was trying to process it

Or figure out what it meant for me

Another trip to Ireland in early 2020 reinforced these thoughts and cemented relationships there

I arrived back to my home in Colorado just as Covid-19 was being openly talked about, but before any lockdowns

The lockdown has given me the time, and space to process those thoughts birthed in 2019

Given me the opportunity to be at peace with experiencing a relaxed schedule

Provided opportunities to have communications with friends and family scattered around the globe and revealed the shared trauma of this pandemic

No one wonders “why” someone is concerned—at least not in my circle

It’s my hope we will come through this fear, into love and thus come alive

Come alive to the purposes created for each of us

Ah, but first we have to recognize and acknowledge those purposes

I suspect that revelation process will be different for each of us

Some may even fight these truths, preferring instead to return to what was

My pragmatic side knows this and thus expects the “coming through” will not necessarily allow us to land in a “happy place”

There will be “happy places” but also some rough patches

There may be some friends cemented for life, but also some lost

I hope I can cling to the values learned through this process

I hope to make them an integral part of me

I hope more of us find the “happy place” and can affect and influence those still searching

I hope we will release the aspects of life that were—let them drift into a space of “what was”

And thus be able to allow those conditions to remain in that space.